Sunday, February 12, 2012

"I'm Sorry, Yours Was Not the Ambulance I Was Looking For"

A quick note from the land of Absurdia,

While perusing one of several sites dedicated to Fort McClellan vets, I happened to notice a Law Firm trolling for business and thought, what the heck. So I put forth the Herculean effort of trying to put into words that sounded at least somewhat sane and not totally paranoid, what the U.S. Army and VA have done to us. The effort took several hours. As you also know, I PAID for several days for that output of mental and physical energy.  Ohhh how I paid. In closing, I politely asked the "nice" attorney if he could please offer some advice for someone like me even if his firm was unable to take on a case like mine.

After all that effort, and all the suffering, and worst of all, the FALSE HOPE so cruelly held out by his "ambulance chase", I got the usual, trite, impersonal, boilerplate, "sorry, we can't comment as to the merits of your case, but our firm is not choosing to assist you at this time. No "I was saddened to hear of your suffering" or "thank you for your service" or any hint that the guy had even done so much as even SKIM OVER the hundreds of words I had sent, because they asked for "as much detail as possible." 

Of course I fired off a not very friendly response, to which he replied that he has vets in his family and prays for veterans all the time. (I'm sure he meant "real" vets, not ones like know...gah...women.) It made me feel LOTS better though, and I'm sure it does you too! He also added a completely gratuitous and disingenuous comment that not only does he not own a $3,000 pair of shoes, but never has he ever even heard of such a thing! 

Yeahhhhh....right, and pretty pink and purple butterflies are flying out my ....ears as I write this!  

And then he added the comment that always makes me feel better than any other. "I truly hope you get the help you need." I could just hear the condescension dribbling thickly from each of the words as I read them. Of course he really meant "I hope someone commits you, because I think you're a raving nut case," but given he's just a F.I.B. anyway (regional colloquialism--I was born in Door County, Wisconsin, a once beautiful place now turned into a FAR northern "quaint" suburb of Chicago) I won't be losing any sleep over it one way or the other.

It's just all so ironic really. First we hear the "it's all in your imagination" thing from the doctors, then when a medical cause is finally found for our illnesses and they can no longer throw us in the "loony bin" (figuratively speaking) the LEGAL PROFESSION steps right in after them and takes over, with absolutely NO thought to the fact that we have perfectly valid grounds and reams of medical evidence to back our claims. But, since lawyers can't make money off us, meh...who cares. Send out the boilerplate and if we're unhappy with that, treat us like WE are the ones with "issues."

I am beginning to hate lawyers almost as much as doctors....except my pain doctor.  And no, he doesn't prescribe me "fun" drugs. Quite the opposite in fact, but he treats me like a HUMAN, unlike nearly everyone else I've run into since I was 19 years old and in basic training at Fort McClellan, Alabama!

As for most doctors and lawyers, a pox on both their houses. In fact if THEY had to deal with some of these symptoms maybe they'd be a bit more understanding! But no, I wouldn't wish this even on them.

1 comment:

  1. Never mind what I said about my pain doctor. I highly recommend AGAINST Advanced Pain Management. Not only did they charge Medicare for a procedure they did not perform on me, but once I reached the maximum number of procedures they could do on me they just cut off my care (this is called medical abandonment and is against the law in Wisconsin). I thought I found a good pain care doctor, which is really rare, but I was wrong. He was as much a quack as the rest of them and now I have even MORE damage to my spine.